I'm taking you on a journey....

Chapter 21: Crash landing

Just arrived, how happy I am! The first stage destination well reached. We continue tomorrow. Rome, the eternal city. What do we want there? What do I want? Love, freedom and pure pleasure? In roughly that order, I think. *I don't know* I answer defensively. But actually I know too well. *I'm curious to see what will come and what it will be like* I muse to Andreas in silent anticipation. Secretly admired for years, quietly observed, we are now allowed to be there. A secret fan of a really big festival. *Hey you two...* our daughter looked at us questioningly. *Are you only travelling to Rome because of this country festival? You're not serious, are you? Somewhat incredulous, questioning and dismissive, she asked. *Actually I am* I sheepishly dodge the question. There it is again, that *fear of old age* and again I see the fire in her. *You're crazy, you can't be!" And together with Andreas, the two of them began to plan the trip to Rome.

And now? We're here, but it used to be different.....

In 2013, the A-Riverway breed had long since outgrown its infancy. It was established and the breeding programme had long been consolidated. We were well known in the breeding scene, even though we no longer took part in shows. We had held our own, even though everyone and anyone thought that no more shows? So there was no stopping us. But we stayed on top. People knew our breeding standard, knew about the breeding and the qualities that our cats displayed. We were able to keep up with the great catteries, even if we weren't right at the front. So we were also a serious competitor in the breeding scene.

Everyday life had us firmly in its grip over the years, as did the everyday life of breeding. Everything was determined by and about breeding. If we had kittens, we had no visitors beforehand. The children mostly played with their school friends. But this was mainly because I worked at night and had a job and had to catch up on sleep in the afternoon. There was no better balance than working at night and being at home during the day. The children were never alone and the animals could be looked after and cared for in the best possible way.

But was that a good thing?

Surely when the children came home, someone was there - ME. And this also meant that the breeding could be optimised. All this, together with the hygiene programme I developed, meant that we had very few to no illnesses in our animals over the years.

But at what cost, I ask myself.

In the evenings when the family was together, I had to switch off and go to bed because I had to get up again early in the morning. Sometimes it was 1.00 a.m. and sometimes 2.30 in the morning. If we went to a cat show, that meant I had to be ready to go straight after work, no matter where the journey took us. My need for sleep was clearly a restriction for the family and a challenge for us all. We couldn't necessarily afford holidays and yet we offered our school-age children holidays by the sea in the south every year. We raised the children alone. We had no grandparents, no siblings to stand in for us. There was the difference that lay between us, the illnesses in old age that made travelling and child-sitting no longer possible. Because we stayed at home with our children, because we had no one, because we were simply doing the work on our own, at some point we had no more friends because we didn't have the time. So we invited our friends round to our house, even if it was just two or three friends.

Nevertheless, here in Gommiswald we experienced how other families whose schoolchildren were allowed to enjoy more than one holiday. But we couldn't offer our children this. How could we? Even if we had had the money, what would have happened to all our animals? You can usually find cat sitters for three to a maximum of four animals, but not for more. And if someone agreed to look after all our animals while we were away, it would have cost me over CHF 1,000. After all, we were breeding precious creatures.

Well, that's completely true. But what about all those creatures that are perhaps of a simpler nature? Not of noble lineage? They are just as valuable and priceless. We didn't need cuddling and hours of cuddling. What was needed here was a professional who knew how to provide food for several cats, ensure access to fresh water and have a good eye to see how the animals were doing. Cleaning the litter tray, keeping a trained eye on the faeces and daily reporting. I didn't need anything else for our animals. We weren't away for ages and the cats got enough stroking and cuddling sessions before, after and during our presence. But I didn't want to and couldn't enjoy my holidays if I didn't know that the care was optimal. And whenever we had a good *fairy*, I was happy to pay more than the negotiated price and, above all, then I could relax and enjoy myself. Finding such pet sitters is still very difficult today.

Sometimes I feel a quiet, sharp pain when I hear our children complain. They quietly complain about how they experienced their childhood. Because we actually had nothing and yet we gave so much. Our children have long since grown up and fledged, got to know other families, whose partners are so promising, so tempting and seem so much more important than us. But we carry on as before. But sometimes we also enjoy carefree moments when our daughter takes me to concerts or events or our son shows us his passion for motor racing. That also happens.

I lost my job in 2013. Rationalisation, new employment contracts and lower salaries made me sit up and take notice and ultimately lose my job. I switched from early service to a bakery. From then on, I was usually on the go from 1.00 am to 6.00 or 9.00 am. After two years, I had a breakdown. The family, especially the children, hardly felt it. The body no longer wanted to. The therapies no longer worked. Only my head, my mind, my spirit, my will demanded what my body was no longer able or willing to fulfil. Years of headaches and vomiting attacks were ignored until the first signs of paralysis in my limbs became noticeable and finally the entire left side of my body practically stopped working. Walking, holding, moving seemed impossible. Dancing, running was an impossibility! I suddenly fell out. Dropped out and embarked on a completely new, for me actually a reluctant path in life. A way of life that I might have felt and experienced to some extent as a child.

*Andreas, come on, they're playing Holy Moly Catalan over there.

*We laugh, it's probably the third shower today and I know it won't stop there, because there are a few more dances to come.

But it was different once.....

And next time this journey will continue.
Sincerely
Yours
A-Riverway

(Translation Deepl)